Alexia

new year's eve

2008-12-31T13:31:00.002-05:00

Today is New Year's Eve, and what better day to reflect on my year than today?

I've changed a whoooole lot this year. I've learned my weaknesses, my strengths, what I need to improve on (school wise, life wise, boy wise, friend wise, personality wise, etc..), what makes me mad and what makes me happy. This was a growing year for me, and I don't regret anything that happened.

I've also learned a lot this year. I've learned how to deal with people and not let people step on me. I've learned that people suck and no one cares, yep. It's true. If you live by that you'll be the strongest person alive.

I'm going to my aunt's house today. I'm going to reflect on my life.

2008-12-27T13:37:00.002-05:00

it is officially winter break until January 5 :)

so Christmas just passed... and now I feel like my life has no meaning. as Jane said, the whole year leads up to Christmas and then it's just a downfall from there. I got clothes, shoes, lots of earrings, pajamas, a hat and scarf, jacket, and enough underwear and thongs to last me til I'm 67. yesterday I went to the mall with Sami and Nikki to do some post-Christmas shopping. I only bought a shirt and a lacy thong at Tilly's, ha, where a cute guy rung us up, since all three of us got underwear. and he was like I don't want to touch those. but he did anyway.

and we ran into Zaynab and Olivia. and then we ran into Kevin. aww I miss that kid lots. and we saw this kid in Pac Sun who apparently Nicole is spreading rumors about? I don't know the whole story? but its not my problem? yep. and now I'm here. I'm leaving for a haircut in about five minutes. and then later I'm going out to dinner with the Pavermans, who I haven't seen in awhile and I really miss them

2008-12-22T16:45:00.003-05:00

my last post was kind of unnecessary... I forgot that people may actually find this blog and read it. oh well, i was angry. the cast list went up today... I'm in ensemble haha it's okay. she's saving me for next year :P no I don't know. but hopefully, cause me and jennarose and natalie are basc the only underclassmen who got in, and the cast is like COMPLETELY filled with seniors. so whatever. and the leads are people who we never even heard of.. so whatever to them...

don't give me tips about my life

2008-12-20T16:47:00.004-05:00

You know what bothers me more than anything in the world?

when people think they're "doing me a favor" by letting me in on something.

For example, let's say you like this guy and a girl tells your friend says "oh, well does (so-and-so) think (so-and-so) still likes her? cause he doesn't... "

THANKS FOR THE INFORMATION

i'm glad you think that by telling me something like that, I'm benefiting. I appreciate (not really) you trying to look out for my best interest (I'm sure) but I don't need advice when i don't ask for it

so big hint to everyone: DON'T "help me out" and think that you telling me your piece of info is going to be doing me a favor. like what you have to say is my golden ticket to Enlightenment

2008-12-15T19:16:00.002-05:00

today started out like a normal day... spanish (boring), owens (hell). and then at the end of history, after some assessment on the virginia and kentucky resolution, my head randomly started to hurt. i remember thinking to myself: wow, my head hurts like a BITCH. so being the little pussy that i am, i started to get upset obviously. cause i hate headaches becuase headaches = nausea = throwing up = alexia has a panic attack and dies. so i went to the doctor, and if my stream of headaches don't go away in 2 weeks i have to get tests. like scans and shit. so i'm HOPING they go away and FAAAAST. cause i don't want to get an MRI for a fucking headache. or a strep test, which he said he may have had to do today if my throat was red. i would have actually died. thats my second fear, next to throwing up. its ok, i lead a pathetic life. so i went to the doctors, got home, and watched Tuck Everlasting and What A Girl Wants. my head is still kinda hurting.. i dont know whats wrong with me. but im taking a shower and going to bed early tonight. i need to get more sleep.

2008-12-14T14:10:00.000-05:00

Tonight my entire dad's side of my family is coming over for my grandma's birthday. I'm excited :) I haven't seen them in awhile. They're my favorite people ever, for some reason. Maybe it's because I genuinely love every single one of my cousins.

Right now I'm reading Nineteen Minutes. Its sooo good.

I hate my family

2008-12-13T13:16:00.002-05:00

For the past half hour I've been sitting in my room doing my homework listening to my fucking brother have a FIT because he can't go to the mall tonight with his friend Matt and this faggot little girls. I hate this kid so much. He is DESTROYING my house. I have the biggest headache of my life right now because I just screamed at my brother for being a DICK to my parents. I hate this house so much and I want to leave and never come back ever ever ever again.

drama club?

2008-12-09T16:41:00.002-05:00

i was so tired today. haha, when ever you're walking with someone in the hallway and it gets awkward you always say "i'm soo tired." take notice. anyway, we got the sheet music for the musical try outs. i'm hoping to get in (which i probably will) but it would be cool to have a line or so. I just don't want to think about what is going to happen next year, since jenna counted 19 SENIORS who will be leaving. drama club is basically up to jenna natalie sam and i. which is great. cause once all the seniors leave we will have NO GUYS. this is going to be terrible. and glasser will have to rely on us to be her leads... if i don't get a lead next year i swear. i'm not doing it anymore. why would i waste my time... its going nowhere.

1760

2008-12-08T16:57:00.001-05:00

I GOT A FUCKING 1760 ON MY PSATS. THATS HORRIBLE. I'M GOING TO CURL UP IN A BALL AND SET MYSELF ON FIRE, BYE

2008-12-07T14:59:00.001-05:00

I'm trying to think of a new sn, and i'm thinking of doing something with "l" in the beginning of an adjective that begins with "ex" so its like lextravagant. or lexotic. or something equally cool.. or not

2008-12-06T12:06:00.001-05:00

yesterday my computer had a serious ailment :( it had 37 viruses :( and some bastard virus put this fake antivirus software on my computer and i believed it and my dad called me a sucker. what bull shit. anyone who makes these viruses should be hung or thrown in jail

End of this Chapter.

2008-12-04T22:21:00.004-05:00

I'm really excited.

I just had an epiphany, if there ever was one to be had.

Why attach yourself to someone who won't return? Why care so much, give your heart so deeply, relinquish your soul so passionately, to find that nothing will or can come of it?

I'm done, seriously. And I don't mean that in a bad way at all. I'm starting afresh. Renewing my life, literally and metaphorically. I realized that I really do live in the past, and I even more so really need to stop. It's only hurting me, because I'm YEARNING for things to be how they were. They can't be. I'm smart enough to realize that. I don't know why I can't act upon this realization.

I got the reassurance I needed. I'm happy to report that it's OKAY to ask questions, and to keep asking until you are satisfied. Because sometimes, all you need is a little reassurance that whatever you are thinking is right or wrong. Once you get reassurance, your head is cleared (even if you don't think it is, like I thought two hours ago). It's better to know than not to know. It's better to have everything cleared up as best it can be without having annoying "What if?"s lingering in the back of your mind.

Anyway, today marks the start of the rest of my life. I promise, on this day, December 4, 2008, my life will change.

the beginning of the end

2008-12-04T20:44:00.001-05:00

TODAY IS THE START OF MY NEW LIFE

2008-12-03T18:16:00.002-05:00

me and jennarose are currently venting about our lives via facebook IM... it's impossible for me to let go.

let's go through my day

spanish quiz was easy
english was annoying
history was just a huge discussion on economics
civitas was more discussion
lunch was whatever
math test was not bad
drivers ed was OBNOXIOUS as always
chemistry was SERIOUSLY the most annoying period of my life

all i wanna do is let go

2008-12-02T22:57:00.005-05:00

I'm lacking something in my life... events. Last year was so great. Everything was so new: the people, the clubs, the experiences. I just miss going to school and sincerely having to wonder what was going to happen next. Like especially the whole thing with Evan... every single day, something new would happen. I'd see him in the hallways and there would be a new comment about us (derogatory or flattery... lol). Or there would be a new place I saw him. Or a new thing he did to me. It was mysterious and unknown. I did not know when it was going to happen, what was going to happen, if something would happen. Looking forward to stupid things like that gave me a thrill every day. That whole experience was something I've never been through before, nor did I ever dream I'd ever go through, because I wasn't exactly a girl that people from my hometown would call "pretty" in middle school. Or maybe it wasn't the event, but who it was involving.... haha that's a whole other topic... Aaaanywayyyy... and then I came to high school and it was all ALEXIA IS REALLY HOT. Like, what? Me? Really? I am?

I just miss the discovery aspect of high school. I feel like I've seen everything and everyone already now. No one new. It sucks. I need excitement.

I'm glad I got that out.

2008-12-01T20:12:00.002-05:00

i've been drawing a lot... and you know what that means. alexia is in emotional overdrive. i always draw when i'm emotional, and i don't know why. i draw like boy girl scenes and they're either super depressed or super happy. they always resemble the same people... woohoo i'm pathetic!

2008-11-30T17:43:00.001-05:00

the weather sucked today... which of course signified the end of a four day weekend

Elizabeth Paige Galifi

2008-11-29T20:45:00.003-05:00

I'm at Elizabeth Paige Galifi's residence. And she has enquired that I Do Not post her full name onto this website, as she feels she will become a target for pedofilia. However, as I am a defiant individual, I have chosen not to delete her full name.

2008-11-29T01:11:00.004-05:00

WINNES PARTY WAS AMAZING!! i pretty much danced with everyone... did my fair share of mingling and whatnot... i danced with matt teperman who is absolutely adorable but a silly pimp haha he had all us girls on him... fabulous times... im so wound up now, cant sleep.. must party more.. ahh. im just so upset that its over :(

winne's sweet sixteen

2008-11-28T13:05:00.005-05:00

last night i watched The Notebook. it was so good. it always makes me think of the same damn person though.... for obvious reasons

and sal called but i had a headache.

and then this morning i woke up and looked at my phone to find that sal had called me again at around 9:07 AM and left me a voicemail. i think thats so cute! even though i hate talking on the phone

and then i made brunch around 12 considering i woke up at approximately 11:08 AM.

on a better note.. WINNE'S SWEET SIXTEEN IS TONIGHTTTT. happy 16th motherfcuking birthday. i remember when we were like WE'RE TWELVE WE'RE SO COOL...cause we thought being 12 was the coolest age ever...and now you're 16, which is a legitimate teenage age. i'm beyond excited. i remember when MONTHS AGO we were all like SIX MONTHS TIL YOUR PARTY! and now its actually in six hours. can you believe how fast the time went? so i have to be there by 7 cause i'm gonna be in her pictures and whatnot.

and now i'm looking online for make up tutorials cause i wanna look smokin tonight but youtube is being a bitch

thanksgiving

2008-11-27T11:36:00.003-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving! :) today i'll be dining in brooklyn with parts of my family who i never talk to, which i find strange, because the other side of my family are my best friends pretty much. i texted everyone i knew this morning and wished them a good holiday, so if i didnt text you i guess youre not important

2008-11-26T15:58:00.001-05:00

my day kinda sucked. there wasn't one period where i was like YES, RELIEF, I FEEL BETTER NOW BECAUSE _____ IS OVER. becuase it was successive cock sucking. spanish... we must read the first chapter of La Catrina for homework. a book entirely in spanish = my life. owens.. speech on something persuasive, which i kinda tore up only not, cause ms owens wasnt even LOOKING half the time. history.. lecture on student morals... b/c he caught people stealing other peoples pedligs so now its not counting as 25/25 for our grade. so now we have to "work harder" for the grades we get. i always (except this week) do my own pedligs every week and so should everyone else. lazy fucks.civitas was great, we finished the healthcare video which i THOROUGHLY enjoyed being the weirdo that i am. math was IRRITATING again. drivers ed quiz was laaaaaame and chem was okay.

i also think i pwned my chem test, that's about it.

ive been ass raped with hw this weekend. but its thanksgiving tomorrow :) which makes me smile which means im gonna eat a lot and gain 2894754 point four pounds but its cool.

What Alexia is Thankful For

1. I'm kind of thankful for my family, because some of my friends' parents are divorced or hate each other or whatever, but my parents dont even though it seems like they do. my brother is irritating to the 69th power but you know what? its okay, becuase he's only 13 and one day he's gonna grow up and become popular in school (hopefully)

2. I'm thankful for my few close friends who let me boss them around ;-) kidding... I'm just thankful that i have people to listen to me whine and complain about my life

3. I'm thankful for the fact that I pretty much get anything i want, materialistically, if i beg hard enough

4. I'm thankful that I have talents and brains and I have the willpower to do anything becuase I'm a very headstrong individual (which I'm also thankful for)

5. I'm thankful for how much I've changed since 8th grade. I've become a totally new person.. well not totally new, but my attitude has changed and i dont let people push me around anymore. I'm not afraid to tell someone off nor am I afraid to go out of my way to befriend someone.

and yeah.. sorry if any of these sound kind of retarded

2008-11-25T21:29:00.000-05:00

i'm starting to think that liking you is just a habit... but mostly im like no, its definitely not... but then sometimes i'm like why do i care, cause i know you don't care. so if you don't care why should i care?

2008-11-25T18:53:00.000-05:00

this is such a joke... this is my 83489753453984th attempt at an online journal hahahah but that's okay because i'm not going to fake who i am on this one by typing all proper and shit... unless i want to... my username is my life story, not really. today was annoying... hr was gay as usual... spanish was fun b/c i'm a bitchy overachiever in spanish so i like showing everyone up. english was irritating as hell. these speeches are so lame. me and cass were making faces to each other from across the room HAHA my life story. also we established that i'm the "bossy" type group member. history was scary, cause the one day i don't actually do my pedligs myself jansen goes around and checks them, cool. whaatever. we watched sicko in civitas which i'm strangely enjoying... its about universal healthcare.. yep ms reck was right when she said that its a treat for us law kids to watch a documentary on universal healthcare, cause i'm enjoying this movie. lunch was lunch. math involved too much thinking and drivers ed made me wanna gag. chem test was not bad i think i did decently.. but i have an obnoxious test on polyatomic ions tomorrow. guess who barely studied? yep